discardia | week 3; Tuesday (Fane)

[ Well, yesterday had been... an experience. Fane was definitely not at all thrilled with the going ons, and all things considered, had some low-key murderous intent for Jae-ha now, but. He has to swallow that. Alas, he can't kill people for slights and the general populace respond with "fair enough."

He's en route elsewhere to spend some time when Cardia calls out to him, so naturally, he stops. ]

Cardia? [ Wait-- He process the rest of what she says, and he cants his head lightly. ] ...I'm fine, yes. Should I not be?

Um-- it's not that you shouldn't, but I thought I saw you yesterday. Jae-ha wouldn't let me get any closer though, so I got worried...

[ But he seems okay?? Thank goodness. ]

Oh. Jae-ha.

[ Fane's tone couldn't be flatter if he tried, and he even sounds low-key angry? Hm, ]

Yes, I expect that was for the better. However, he was running because he knows he did something quite wrong.

[ ?????? ]

Wro-- what happened?

[ He sighs. But it's not only a sigh, but a very heavy, very tired one. ]

A charm potion. [ The note of disgust in his voice is palpable. ] The idiot spilled it on me, so I fell in love with the next idiot I ran into. Thank goodness it wore off, otherwise I would kill Jae-ha myself.

[ Automatically, Cardia reaches out to rest a hand on his arm, to be as reassuring a presence as she can manage. But she's still... very much baffled. ]

There's a potion that can do that? How do you know it was love?

[ ... Look, she's... learning a lot, still... ]

[ He follows the motion of her hand by turning his head with it, though the gesture is a bit odd. He doesn't object, but his posture does seem to deflate somewhat a moment or two after her touch. ]

There is, yes. I've had it used against me before, but that's in a battle, and is completely— [ He cuts himself off here, since she probably doesn't actually care about that. Instead, he sighs, and offers a gentler explanation. ] I've been in love before. It's, well. I have--had, perhaps--a family. It's different loves, but I love them dearly.

[ ... Oh.

Considering her brother, Cardia doesn't think there's really anything resembling love between them. And her father...

She doesn't know what to think anymore, so even as she listens, she frowns. ]

Can I ask... what it's like?

[ Considering what she's told him, he's not exactly surprised at the question. However, it's a difficult one. It's the sort of thing that's quantifiable or easy to explain in the way that Fane tends to think. So it takes him a few moments before he starts a careful explanation. ]

Well... It's caring for someone, but much more intensely than, say, a friend. It isn't as if you can fall out of love with someone, mind you, but there is a kind of strength to the feeling that makes it feel as if it would last forever. That you would want nothing more than to be with them for all your life.

[ He laughs, almost sheepishly, then adds: ]

And, well, you must remember that my definition of "forever" is significantly more literal than a mortals. I love my wife and my daughter for all their perfections and all their flaws. They are part of why I'm so determined to find my people. I love them, and yet when I had the chance, I didn't show it very well. That is... [ He sighs ] That is what makes it complicated. I can hardly stand here and tell you the most idealistic version of love. It's rarely as simple as that.

[ ... Oh. Odd, has she felt something like that before--

Well. She'll ponder it later, keep it tucked close until she can think about it, because-- ]

You have a wi-- you have a family?? You're a father! What are they like??

[ her family sucks, please tell her about how good yours is. ]

[ There's another silence, but in the face of her enthusiasm, his voice is soft and almost fragile. ]

I— I do not know.

[ He crosses his arms almost defensively, but the shake of his head is slow. ]

Spending so long alone in a crypt does quite strange things to your memory. I remember very little of who I was before I became this, and the culture and people I cared so much for with it. I remember basic things. Their names, the look of our home, the birth of my daughter, but... So much is gone. It pains me to say, but I don't even remember their faces. And the longer I spend here, in your world... The more I forget.

... Ah...

[ Shoot. She'd gone and made him sad, hadn't she?

Cardia hesitates for a minute, before she pats his arm. ]

I'm sorry. I really do hope you're able to find them again. I'm certain they must miss you.

[ He follows the path of her hand, then places his own (gloved) one over it. ]

You don't need to apologize. It is-- Well. It is certainly not something I am happy about, but unfortunately what is done is done. If I linger too much in the past, I'll never be able to continue forward, as I see it.

[ He gives her hand a squeeze, though then he pulls his hand away. ]

I will find them. My family, and all the rest of my people. If I do not, it is because I perish in the quest, and I find that perfectly acceptable, to be honest.

[ Though harsh statement aside, he adds more gently: ] But thank you for your kindness. That is something I will not overlook.

[ Cardia doesn't look too thrilled at the thought of Fane happily dying on his quest before he even manages to complete it, but-- honestly, that's his choice. She's going to believe that he'll find his family before that happens. ]

I'm fond of you, too.

[ So this is just a given. ]

Um, that being said... could you please wish for someone to punch Jae-ha very hard?

[ He chuckles softly, and the fondness is easy to hear. He's not sure what else to say there, so with a small nod, he just listens to what else she has to say.

Though. Jae-ha.

He sighs heavily, then taps his finger against the area between his eye sockets lightly. It's odd, but it might be a rough parallel to a gesture he had in... flesh. It's not too far off from pinching the bridge of your nose. ]

Oh, trust me, I wish for that very thing every day now. I would do it myself, mind you, but unfortunately, my punches really do not pack any weight behind them at all.

[ dude weighs all of like 30 pounds ]

Is there any particular reason you wish for the same?

I'll grant that wish for you.

[ She knows how to hit hard! Thanks, Van Helsing!! ]

... But it's more that... listening to you, I think I've understood something about my own feelings. And that... also makes me angry, a bit. More importantly, though, he made you uncomfortable and I can't forgive that!

[ HUFF. ]

[ He nods, clearly approvingly, though he does pause rather abruptly as she explains. It's not too hard to read between the lines here, and he doesn't like it. ]

Oh, dear.

[ Fane also thinks of Jae-ha and everything he's seen of him... and briefly wonders that, if he's right, if Cardia has bad taste. hm. ]

Cardia... Were your feelings... romantic, by any chance? Is that where this came from?

[ He's not judgemental, at least. Just. Curious. ]

... I don't know.

[ well, she sure admitted that immediately. ]

I think... some of what you said did seem familiar, but not entirely. I do... care about him, a lot, and sometimes my face feels warm when he does certain things, but...

[ A sigh. ]

I really don't know, Fane. The more I think about it, the more my head hurts.

[ oh thank god ]

[ He does actually breath a small sigh of relief, and he nods. ]

A crush, then. It is... Hm. I suppose it is a type of love, but I'd say it's closer to affection. It's the precursor to love, certainly. But it's not nearly as... [ He hums thoughtfully as he considers the word ] —Consuming, I suppose. A crush can fade easily, but love is much more difficult to wane.

[ He shrugs ]

Crushes do tend to be like that, though. Not... that I have had many. But it's what I've gleaned from literature as well as others.

[ Poor Fane, getting heart attacks from his kids already. ]

So it's more like... a possibility?

[ This is... so confusing. ]

[ see he could give a real answer

or ]

...Well. Not with Jae-ha.

[ It's fairly clear from the difference in his tone that this is his personal opinion and not an insightful commentary into the nature of love. ]

... Eh?

[ Dad?? ]

I don't approve of him. It's as simple as that.

[ He gestures as he explains, but it's definitely like 95% he's salty about the love potion ]

Why, anyone that would go through the trouble of making charm potions and being such a fool as to use them in a tense situation is an idiot. I've also not been impressed by his...Hmph. Logic may be a strong word. But that's quite clear from my example!

Er... well, I can't say I disagree, because this was incredibly idiotic...

Hmph. Exactly. And it's why he's absolutely not the sort of person you should be interested in.

[ He hmphs again, then takes a thoughtful poses as he considers something ]

Now, reckless but still reasonable, that would be Stephanie.

[ did you want dad to be a matchmaker because apparently that's where he's going with this ]

...

I, um, I do like Stephanie a lot, but not like that.

Oh, I see.

[ He says simply, but nods ]

A shame. She would be a good match, I would think. Or Reyna, but— [ He waves a hand dismissively ] No matter. In truth, it's unwise to form such a bond with someone here anyways.

Mm. I... have a lot to think about, I think.

[ He laughs a little, but nods ]

...Perhaps so. I hope I haven't added anything additional. Despite... appearances [ which, ugh. he hates saying that. ] I'm admittedly a bit of a romantic.

...

[ a very slight head-tilt. ]

I don't think what you look like matters. I really appreciate how helpful you've been with this.

Oh, no. It matters very much. It is—

[ He cuts himself off before he continues, because. Oh. He, uh. Realizes where he was going with that, and he doesn't want to get into the birds and bees with Cardia? ]

...Well. It causes confusion for some, let's say.

... Are they not used to living skeletons?

[ she has no idea what a bullet they both dodged. ]

Well, I imagine that's a part of it, certainly. Why, the only one amongst all of you that hadn't thought me strange was Sanji, who seems to have an undead companion of his own.

[ He shrugs ]

...And besides, that is what most people think of me as first. A skeleton. Not an Eternal, who very much was alive. I really must share my self-portrait more to make that all the clearer.

... I have to admit, I did wonder what you looked like when you had skin.

[ He shrugs ]

...Would you like to see?

[ It's not like his room is far... He would be carrying it around if not for the fact that it wouldn't really fit in his coat ]

Yes! If that's all right.

[ YES. ]

Of course.

[ He beckons for her to follow him as he heads towards the room he and Varian share. Though as they go, he does laugh a little, and it's almost shy. ]

It's surprising that so many of you are interested, I must say. My traveling companions accept me as I am, which I am grateful for, mind you, but... Well. I appreciate that you want to know who I am, not simply just something to be gawked at.

I think it's interesting-- but also something friends do, wanting to learn more about each other.

[ but she will definitely tag along. ]

Hm... Friends.

[ He seems to mull that over for a few moments, then quietly, very much to himself, he mutters: ] I suppose we are.

[ Great job, Fane. You figured it out. But regardless, it's not long before they get to the room, and part of it has been redecorated to be more to Fane's taste. Which is to say, there's black fabric hanging around everywhere to dampen out the brightness of the room... But that's not why they're here. He goes to the dresser and pulls out a roll of stiff, ink-stained fabric, which he hands to Cardia. ]

There you are.

[ When she unrolls it, there's a rough sketch of a portrait, though it's not nearly as refined as that link. It gets the point across, but between the ink bleeding into the fabric and art not being Fane's number one forte, it's not as perfect. But it definitely gets the point across, and that is that Fane is alarmingly hot. ]

Oh--

[ Cardia's definitely a little startled once she unrolls the sketch, glancing from the person depicted there to Fane and back to the picture. Wow. ]

You look amazing!

[ He rubs the back of his head a bit sheepishly, and nods slowly ]

That is... what everyone I have shown it to has said.

[ He really does sound a bit embarrassed about that, then makes a coughing noise, a light ahem ]

I was considered rather plain for my people, truth be told.

... Your people must all be breathtakingly beautiful, then.

Oh, they are.

[ There's admiration and pride in his voice, and as he explains, it probably makes how rude he can be about people here make at least a little more sense. ]

Why, it's no fault of yours—Well, not yours, exactly, but of the mortals you resemble. But you are all less than we are. The Eternals were a race of people that existed before the very concept. There were no two of us alike. Some were tall and lithe with great, beautiful horns, others as brightly colored and diminutive as flowers, and some still that you could barely see at all, but you felt their presence like a warmth upon your skin. And... So much of that is lost. When I look at mortals, it's disappointing how similar they look. All that distinguishes them amongst each other are things like the color of their hair, or even just how they style it. There's nothing unique about them. Save for the Lizards, the biggest difference of the rest is simply their height.

[ He shakes his head ]

When each of your people is a work of art in their uniqueness, to have it lost is a great tragedy. It makes mortals look no more interesting than the walls of their hovels.

Er... well, I suppose I can't say I've ever been told I look like a hovel wall before.

[ Thanks, Fane. ]

But in comparison, that makes sense... they do seem like very powerful presences.

[ Lizards? Tiny like flowers?? Nearly invisible?! ]

Oh, well, it's not your fault. I can hardly blame any of you for a lack of imagination in your— [ "Creation," but he catches himself, since that's a little different with Cardia. He makes a thoughtful noise, then shrugs. ]

Well, no matter. I mean no offense by it.

[ full offense, fane ]

But they certainly are. It's why I'm surprised that aesthetics have shifted enough that I would have been considered quite appealing. Without anything particularly novel about me minus my crest, it gave me—shall we say—the perfect face for scholarship.

It might be because everyone else is too overwhelming...? You at least seem to be not beautiful to the point that no one would be able to handle it calmly.

[ Cardia is also blunt. ]

week 3; Tuesday (Fane)

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