week 3; Friday (Hikage)

[discardia]

[ Well, here's a pretty typical sight.

Namely, here's Cardia, sitting somewhere, hands neatly folded in her lap and staring down at them like she absolutely wishes she could take a nap.

This damn week. ]

Comments

[psychedelica]

[ hello, cardia. today, hikage has for you... nothing, because the kitchen is fucking on fire, and also, he had a terrible week, too. ]

I wouldn't be crying about him, either.

[ he doesn't know monika, but fitz probably deserved it. ]

[discardia]

I feel worse for his partner.

... And I still don't understand Hijikata's death.

[psychedelica]

It was probably someone's role to kill him. They don't have to do it on Friday - the just have to tell Tiger and Dragon about it beforehand.

[discardia]

... I really hope this doesn't become common.

[psychedelica]

Don't hope too hard.

[ Hikage is not the person to go to for optimism. He puts a hand on his hip, looking down at her where he's standing. ]

I want to talk to you about what you said on Monday.

[discardia]

[ ... delightful. ]

What about it?

[psychedelica]

I wasn't actually in love. Jae-ha poisoned my tea and drugged me.

[ DIGNITY: RESTORED? ]

[discardia]

Mm, he told me.

I punched him.

[psychedelica]

[ huh. really. Hikage raises an eyebrow, then shrugs. ]

Good.

[ he'll be doing that later, thanks ]

I didn't know you two were that close.

[discardia]

...

[ Er. ]

I think probably it was too close for my own good...

[psychedelica]

[ he gives her a cool look for a moment or two, calculating the meaning behind those words. ]

... Did he do something to you? Touch you?

[ hikage shouldn't care but if jae-ha laid a hand on her he feels like he should probably go kick his ass. it's his inner grandpa coming out. ]

[discardia]

I-- well, yes, but I think he does that with everyone.

[ DOESN'T HE KISS YOUR HAND, HIKAGE!! ]

[psychedelica]

What? No. That's not normal at all. What did he do?

[ THIS IS BAD!! IS CARDIA A SEX HOMUNCULUS ]

[discardia]

He's kissed my hand a few times and touched my cheek. Fane thought I might have a... precursor to love, so I told him that, and he rejected me.

... It wasn't his fault. It was mine.

[psychedelica]

... Fane told you that?

[ there's a lot to process here. One, a homunculus getting love advice from a skeleton is hilarious, not that it shows on his face. Two, Cardia thinks she was falling in love with Jae-ha. Three, Jae-ha rejected her when he knew. ]

Wait. Why did he reject you? Is it because you're a homunculus?

[ HIKAGE STOP ]

[discardia]

[ oh my god ]

I--

[ oh my god ]

I don't-- really know, he just said that there was more to it and I'll... find it. And he apologized.

[psychedelica]

... What kind of man rejects a girl for no reason and then apologizes? That idiot...

[ no wonder he was going around giving people love potions. Hikage sighs in exasperation, crossing his arms. ]

[discardia]

I'm sure he has his reasons.

[ probably. ]

[psychedelica]

No, he's just stupid. You're one of the prettiest girls here, and you're so innocent, too. He should know better.

[ he says this with a completely straight face like it's a normal thing to say... ]

Whatever. You're probably better off without him. He meddles too much.

[discardia]

[ No, that's not a normal thing to say. Cardia looks absolutely blindsided??

This is way more compliments than he's ever given her. ]

T... thank you.

Um... are you and Stephanie still getting along, at least?

[psychedelica]

[ WELCOME TO HIKAGE... ]

Huh? [ oh. he got distracted enough by this that he forgot that his life was terrible right now. Immediately, his face pinches, like he just ate something bitter. ] ... Yeah. We're fine. I apologized.

[discardia]

... You don't look very happy.

[psychedelica]

Of course I'm not. That was a huge pain.

[ and also, he kissed her, and he was in love with her, and she kissed him back. he felt so happy - even though he knew it was fake, he felt so happy, and it's burning a hole in him even now. ]

[discardia]

I think there are worse people to fall in love with, at least.

[psychedelica]

[ you mean like jae-ha????? ]

That's not the point. My feelings were fake.

[ and so are hers, surely... even if she doesn't know it. ]

[discardia]

[ yes, exactly!! ]

So what do you think of her now?

[psychedelica]

I don't know.

[ that's probably one of the most honest things he's said about this whole incident, frankly ]

What's it matter to you?

[discardia]

Because I like both of you, and I think it would be nice if you liked each other.

[psychedelica]

... I'd like her more if she'd stop getting in trouble.

[ she said she likes him before, but Hikage doesn't believe her; without a doubt, the two of them would be enemies in clearer circumstances, no matter what she says. ]

Since when do you like me, anyway?

[discardia]

"When"...?

[ ... ]

I'm not sure. Maybe since you weren't afraid of me.

[psychedelica]

I'm a pretty bad person, you know. I'm probably the exact opposite of you.

[ although he hesitates to say such things to humans, it's not as hard to say it to a homunculus. he doesn't hold any ill will towards her; he imagines she doesn't even have a soul the way a mortal might, although he can't be sure. ]

[discardia]

... Are you?

[ Well, he's a lot more pragmatic. ]

[psychedelica]

That's right. You were given life, and you get to experience all the joys it has to offer. Meanwhile... I was killed, and made to watch all the suffering it brings. The only difference is that I'm a lot older than you.

[ ... ]

To be honest, I'm jealous of you.

[discardia]

[ ... ]

Don't be. I'm still a cursed existence. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

... I'm sorry, that you've suffered, and you've had to watch suffering, but please...

Don't say something like that.

[psychedelica]

How can you say that when you've only been around for two years? You barely know what it means to exist yet.

[ it sounds weirdly optimistic, coming from Hikage, but he doesn't intend it as compassion or encouragement; it's simply his usual hard practicality. ]

Even if you're not human, everyone likes you. You'll probably be fine.

[discardia]

... If my poison comes back, I'm not entirely sure that will last. No one's seen it for themselves.

[psychedelica]

I don't think it'll come back unless you ask for it, Cardia.

[discardia]

I... can't imagine a situation where I'd ask for it.

[psychedelica]

So don't.

[ he crosses his arms. it seems like an easy problem to solve, to him - of course, he's never known her with her poison. ]

All you have to do is survive. Then you can live a normal life... Well, I don't know what your life will be like, but I think you can do it.

[ it's ironic, how easily he can say this to her when he can't convince himself of the same ]